What does the Bible, and specifically Proverbs, have to say about the words we speak? In this sermon on Proverbs, Andy looks at godly speech as well as gossip, flattery, mocking, hasty speech, and more!
What does the Bible, and specifically Proverbs, have to say about the words we speak? In this sermon on Proverbs, Andy looks at godly speech as well as gossip, flattery, mocking, hasty speech, and more!
– sermon transcript –
We’re gonna continue our look at Proverbs tonight, but I don’t really know where to tell you to turn to look, we’re gonna be all over the book. So, open to Proverbs 1, but we’re not gonna be in Proverbs 1, you’ll be having to flip or just listen. Tonight we’re going to talk about what the Book of Proverbs has to say about our mouth or our lips, our words, our talking. And you know something, the more I research, I read through the whole Book of Proverbs this week, just looking specifically for Proverbs that had to do with speaking, and I ended up with about a third of the book. We’re gonna be looking at it again next week, but tonight I wanna talk about just some beginning things about what the Book of Proverbs has to say about our words.
Now we’re gonna start actually tonight briefly in the Book of James Chapter 3, Verse 2, just one verse, you don’t need to turn there, but I’m just gonna quote it. It says, “We all stumble in many ways.” Amen? “We all stumble in many ways.” It’s true. “If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep the whole body in check.” If you are never at fault ever in the things you say, then you’re perfect, that’s what James 3:2 said. Now, why is it true? Why is it true that if you never say anything wrong, you’re a perfect person? Why is that?
That’s right, it means your heart’s perfect. See, Charles, you are… You’re remarkable. Immediately, Charles brings us to the heart of the matter, the connection between the mouth and the heart. Why is the fact that you, if you are never at fault in what you say, that you’re a perfect man, why is that true? It’s because of the connection between the mouth and the heart. And I think that’s something that we need to get at and understand right here. The mouth is a reflection of the heart. And what is the heart like? Let’s go to the next level. What is your heart like? Desperately wicked. Isn’t that a little gloomy, Joyce? A little negative? [chuckle] It is though, it’s true.
Jeremiah 9 says it’s desperately wicked. And I think the more you go on in sanctification, the more you know yourself under the light of Scripture, the more you know it’s true. And therefore, the mouth is constantly saying things that it shouldn’t say. We’re constantly getting ourselves into trouble with what we say. Now, the whole passage in James 3, you’ve read it before. Basically, in effect, it says, “No one can bridle the tongue.” You just can’t do it. No matter how hard you try, it’s going to say something. It’s gonna wriggle free at some point and say something you shouldn’t have said. Therefore, the book of Proverbs, we can imagine, would have a lot of practical wisdom to give us on what we have to say.
Another key verse in this that you’ve heard me quote many times, and I’ll quote it again, is in Matthew 12:34, and following. There, Jesus had just done an amazing miracle, and His opponents, His enemies were trying a new tact. They were trying a new approach. And they were saying, it is by Beelzebub, the prince of demons, that he drives out demons. That’s what they said. In other words, they were ascribing to the devil the things that the Holy Spirit was doing through Jesus. Isn’t that incredible? And Jesus said it’s a very, very serious moment, that’s when He discusses the unforgivable sin, as you remember, which I think is ascribing to the devil the things that the Holy Spirit is doing in such a manifest way. The miracles should have been sufficient evidence of the deity of Christ. But they’re ascribing to the devil by Beelzebub, the Lord of Flies is what it means, the things that the Holy Spirit was doing. And this is what Jesus said, “You brood of vipers! How can you, who are evil, say anything good?” Think about that. “How can you, who are evil, say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”
And that’s the very thing that Charles is bringing us right to the heart of the matter. You speak what’s in your heart, isn’t that true? And so as the Lord sanctifies you, He actually sovereignly, I think, brings you into circumstances where the things that are in your heart bubble up to the surface. And you just say them. Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give an account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words, you will be condemned. So, words, very, very important. Words are significant.
Think about words to God. How important are words to God? Think about that. Genesis 1:3, God said, “Let there be,” what? “Light, and there was light.” He created by the breath of His mouth. By the Word of His power, He created. He spoke you into existence. Simply by speaking the Word, “Let there be,” so and so, and there was, that person. He wove you together in your mother’s womb. He created you by His words. God also used the Word to redeem the world. Not only did He create the world by the Word, but He used the Word to redeem the world.
Now, of course, He did that through Jesus Christ. John 1:1 says, what? “In the beginning was the,” what? “Word. And the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” So, He uses this metaphor, this concept of Word in reference to the second person of the Trinity. He is the Word gone forth from God the Father. He is a spoken word, a perfect representation of the will of the Father. That’s Jesus Christ. He used the incarnate word, Jesus, but then He used the spoken word to save us. Didn’t he? Romans 1:16, “I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.” It’s just the spoken word, and at some point you heard it and you believed it.
Hearing promotes faith. Faith comes from hearing the Word. God has chosen this means to the end of our salvation.
And so it says in 1 Corinthians 1:21, “For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through its wisdom did not know Him. God was pleased through the foolishness of preaching to save those who believe.” Just by the foolishness of this verbal communication, this preaching, and this message of the Word. And as I just mentioned, God will use our words to judge us. He’s going to use your words, everything you’ve said, as a perfect assessment of your life.
Remember I said when I was preaching through Romans that you are going to be judged by your deeds? You will not be saved by your deeds. But you will be assessed by your deeds. You see the difference? None of us are saved by good works, but we can be assessed by our works. Jesus said, “Make a tree good and its fruit will be,” what? “Good. Make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad.” Jesus is a perfect judge of fruit. He can pick that fruit, look at it, and tell you what kind of tree it is. And He uses our words to do that, isn’t that true? “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” And so He’s going to use our words to judge us. By your words, you will be acquitted, and by your words, you will be condemned.
And God’s word itself is powerful and effective. I love this in Isaiah 55:10-11, “As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word which goes out from my mouth. It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish the purpose for which I sent it, and achieve the end for which I sent it forth.” In other words, any time God sends out His Word, it accomplishes the thing He sent it out to do.
Words are very, very important, aren’t they? Well, what are your words like?
Think about it. If you had a transcript of everything you’ve said in the last seven days, what would it look like? Go through it with a highlighter and say, “There’s one I wish I hadn’t said.” And you could categorize them, those things, those words that were a blessing to somebody, those words that were a curse to somebody. Those words which were neither one or the other. Those things in which you were speaking the Word of God, and those things in which you were not. Just go through and think about it, a transcript of your words. It’s not that uncommon a concept. Jesus already said you’ll have to give an account, so there is a transcript somewhere. Well, think about it for yourself. What are your words like? Well, I think that’s where the Book of Proverbs comes in to try to help us out. To give us some wisdom.
Now, what we’re gonna do tonight is we’re gonna look at the negative side, those things that Proverbs reveals as bad habits concerning the mouth and the words. We’ll look at the positive side next time, but I think so much of sanctification is weeding out those things that are displeasing to God so that there’s room for those things that are pleasing. Now, Charles has already brought out the close relationship between the mouth and the heart, and it is very clear in the Book of Proverbs as well. At 15:7, it says this, “The lips of the wise spread knowledge, not so the hearts of fools.” So, there’s a connection between the lips and the hearts. Remember, there’s a parallelism all the time in these proverbs. And so there’s a relationship between lips and heart. 15:28, it said… This reminds me of when I preached on Psalm 119, and I was moving all over that Psalm, as you remember, but that’s what the Book of Proverbs is like. And you can just listen or you can try flipping there if you’d like, but we’re gonna just move through. 15:28, it says, “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.”
Again, in the first part, the part A, we’ve got the word “heart,” and part B we’ve got the word “mouth,” a strong connection. And 23:15 and 16, 23:15-16 says, “My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad. My inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.” In other words, this father is speaking to his son, and he’s saying, “I’m going to delight if you have a wise heart.” And how will I know if you have a wise heart? By the words you speak. I’ll just listen to how you talk, and I’ll know if you have any wisdom to offer.
And so this connection between the heart and the mouth is true, both for the wise man and for the fool. It’s true in both cases. 16:23 says “A wise man, a wise man’s heart guides his mouth. His lips promote instruction.” In other words, a wise man’s heart guides the things he says. Now, we already know from Matthew 12 that the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. But here, there’s a sense of self-control, isn’t there? The wise man’s heart, his wisdom, his discretion is bridling in the things he’s saying and controlling it so that he speaks wisdom. On the other hand, the fool, 15:14, it says, “The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly.” The mouth of a fool just enjoys foolishness, folly. Again, the strong connection between the heart and the mouth.
Now, one caveat about that, one warning is that deceptive people can fool us by how they talk. Isn’t that true? There can be some that will talk a good talk but their reality is different. So, in general, it’s true that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. But you see, God has a perfect record of your words. We only have a sampling of one another’s words, don’t we? We can actually do all right for a while. You know what I’m saying? We can be on our best behavior verbally for a little period of time, and therefore we can present ourselves as a certain way. But God’s got a 168-hour per week record, so He got the whole thing and nothing’s missing.
But it is possible to deceive other people by the way we talk. We’ve heard of people who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk, that kind of thing. Proverbs covers that as well, Chapter 26 Verse 23 through 26, take a minute and look there because there’s a number of verses there that it refers to this.
Proverbs 26:23-26, it says, “Like a coating of glaze over earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart.” Isn’t that powerful? Like a coating of glaze, have you ever seen a piece of ceramic that’s got that shiny glaze stuff over it, but at the heart it’s just common clay? In effect, this proverb is saying that’s what fervent lips over a deceptive or an evil heart are like. Somebody who can speak the fervent talk of a Christian, let’s say, but at their heart, there’s a disconnect there. There’s no genuine zeal for the Lord, no genuine love for Him.
Reading on, Verse 24, “A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit. Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart. His malice may be concealed by deception, but his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.” In the end, it comes out, you can’t keep it up for a long, long time. But for a short period of time, you can talk a good talk and so deceive your neighbor. So, it is possible then a shorter sampling of the words to carry off a good appearance. But in general, out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks, and God has the perfect record, the whole thing, 100% of all your words, and so He’s able to make a perfect assessment of your heart.
Now, inside ourselves, we’re saying, “I don’t wanna be that way. I don’t wanna be like a glaze coating over an evil heart.” And therefore, what has to happen to us? We have to have a heart transformation, don’t we? We have to have a genuine renewal from within. And that’s something only Jesus Christ can give us. Only God can transform the heart from within. And then out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. Good things come up/out. And it says in 20:15, I love this, “Gold there is, and rubies in abundance. But lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel.” In other words, there’s more gold and rubies out there than there are lips that speak genuine Godly knowledge. It’s a rare thing. And then you say, “Well, I wanna be one of those people. How do I do it? How do I speak those kind of words?”
Or 25:11, it says, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” I’ll read that again, 25:11, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” That sounds expensive, doesn’t it? Apples of gold in a setting of silver? For your 25th wedding anniversary, what could be better to get her than apples of gold in a setting of silver, right? And that’s what it’s saying. It’s that valuable, a word aptly spoken, just the right amount of wisdom, just the word to say at that key moment. And it’s THAT rare. And you say, “Well, how could I be a man or a woman who does speak that apt word in a perfect setting?” Well, the words of wisdom transform the heart.
Look at 22:17, and following. We have to have a transformation, and what’s interesting about the transformation is that it is accomplished by listening to words. Isn’t that funny? Listen to words of wisdom. Listen to the Scripture. Listen to the teaching. You all have Sunday school teachers. There’s good Bible preaching on the radio. I try to preach the Word faithfully. Listen to the good words of wisdom and put them into effect. It’s a transforming effect, the Word of God. Look at 22:17, and following, “Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise. Apply your heart to what I teach. For it is pleasing when you keep them in your heart and have all of them ready on your lips. So that your trust may be in the Lord, I teach you today, even you. Have I not written 30 sayings for you, sayings of counsel and knowledge, teaching you true and reliable words so that you can give sound answers to Him who sent you?” That’s so powerful. It says, “Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise. Apply your heart to what I teach. Apply your heart to what I teach,” so that you can have the words ready on your lips.
Where do you think I’m heading with all this? Scripture memorization, yeah, you know me well. You just have to saturate your mind in the Word so that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. Am I speaking alien? Look what Jesus said. He said, “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him. Whereas the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.” How do you store up good things in yourself? May I recommend memorizing the sayings of the wise? You can’t do better than Scripture. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. It’s the Scripture.
Another reference on this, I’m not gonna read it now, is Proverbs 4:20 through 27, in which… Make a note of that in which the Father says, “Pay attention to my teachings, write them on your heart so that they come out of your mouth.” That’s kind of how it works. So, a transformation of the heart by the Word of God.
Now, let’s get into a listing of some bad habits of speech. Talk about what Proverbs said. By the way, if you noticed, I’ve got Avery crack and peel labels here. I forgot to change the paper when I’m printing and I didn’t have the time, so you all can have part of the talk tonight. If you wanna take it home, crack and peel, put it on your Bible, maybe your favorite proverb. Just come and ask, I’ll leave it up here in the front, you can take it with you. All right. There are just different habits, and I don’t think I’ve been exhaustive here, but there’s just some different things that the Scripture, the Book of Proverbs gives us that are habits that we don’t wanna get into in terms of our speech.
I’ll just read through the list quickly, and then I’ll go back and start reading the Proverbs. “There’s foolish abundance,” I categorized a number of these things, “foolish abundance, saying lots and lots of foolish things.” There’s lying and deception.. There’s malice and destruction. These are really hurtful words, the words that just rip to shreds, those things. There’s gossip and slander, which is covered in Proverbs. There’s flattery, flattery, and hasty speech, speaking before your brain is connected. Have you ever done that? All right. And then there’s boasting and quarreling. Another word for quarreling is arguing. All right. Mocking and poor timing. Saying things that shouldn’t be said when you say them. Those kinds of things. And joking. Those are the things covered. “What’s wrong with a good joke?” You might say. Well, ordinarily nothing, but there are some things that are inappropriate. Let’s go through them and look at them.
First, let’s talk about foolish abundance. There are three sub-categories here, chattering, talking too much, and blurting out folly. All right. First, what is chattering? Well, I don’t really know, but this is what Proverbs 10:10 says, “He who winks maliciously causes grief, and a chattering fool comes to ruin.” I guess it’s just somebody who’s just talking all the time. The mouth is going and going, and not much is coming out worth listening to. Chattering fool. Don’t be that way, I guess, is what we’re getting at here. This is about as practical as it gets. You want practical? This is practical. This isn’t Romans Chapter 3 theology. This is practical, okay? So, if you like practical, don’t be a chattering fool.
Or talking too much. I like this one, 10:19. Write this one down, if you’re given to saying a lot of words, 10:19. “When words are many… ” I’m gonna change the NIV translation a little bit here. “When words are many, sin is inevitable.” NIV just says “Sin is not absent.” I like inevitable better. You keep talking long enough you’re gonna say something you wish you hadn’t said. Have you ever noticed that? Just keep on going. You’re at a party, things are going, somebody laughs at something you say, and next thing you know you say something you shouldn’t have said. Have you ever seen that happen? “Where words are many, sin is inevitable. But he who holds the tongue is wise.” Don’t say anything, keep it quiet.
Or then there’s blurting folly. I like this, blurting out things that shouldn’t be said. 12:23, “A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly.” It’s like there’s just no gatekeeper there, it just comes flowing out. Have you ever met somebody like that? Are YOU like that? I hope not. It just comes rolling out, something you wish you hadn’t said. 15:2, “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.” So, I’m relating blurting out and gushing, they’re about the same thing. And then, “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.” That’s so good. 15:28, “The heart of the wise weighs out his answers first.” You think about what you’re gonna say before you say it. But the foolish person doesn’t do that. They just say what comes to their mind. “I’m just telling you how I feel.” Well, that’s where the damage comes. All right? Self-control. Weigh out what you say before you say it. All right, that’s that foolish abundance, saying lots and lots of stuff. And many of it shouldn’t be said, much of it shouldn’t be said.
Second category, lying, and deception. Lying and deception. First, lying. Oh, and by the way, let’s take a minute. I wanna show you something. We’re not gonna get to everything the way I wanna do it here, but look at 26:4 and 5, and this is gonna teach us something important about Proverbs. Could somebody… I’m losing my voice here. Could somebody read 26:4 and 5 for me? Big voice?
Someone in audience reading scripture
Okay, yeah. You stumbled a little bit over that and I understand why, because it seems like they contradict each other, doesn’t it? “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or,” what? “You’ll be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.” Well, exegesis or interpretation in Proverbs is a little different than anywhere else in Scripture. You just have to handle them a little bit differently. Proverbs has some sayings that are absolute truths all the time, no matter what. Aren’t they? Like “The Lord detest lying lips.” We’ll get to that in a minute. He always does no matter what. There’s no way you can turn it around that sometimes he loves lying lips. Those are absolutes.
Then there are other things that are just general tendencies in life. For example, if you have a righteous leader, then the nation will be righteous, that kind of thing. They’re just tendencies and generalities. They’re not always true. And here is we get a juxtaposition of two verse that seemed to contradict each other. Basically what it’s saying is that there are some circumstances in which you’re gonna wanna deal with a fool blurting out folly at one way. And then other times you’re gonna wanna deal with it a different way, and so you interpret it that way. All I’m saying is that exegesis or interpretation in Proverbs has to be handled a little bit more carefully than some other places. Actually, they ought to be handled carefully.
All right. Look at Chapter 6, speaking about lying. Chapter 6 Verse 16 through 19. “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to Him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.” At least two or maybe three of those have to do with lying. The stirring up dissension may involve lying sometimes, you could be spreading stories about somebody and causing dissension that way. God HATES lying lips. Hates them. We try to get this across in our parenting, but it’s true of all of us. And it says in one of the Psalms, “All men are liars.” All of us lie at some point, we all shade the truth, don’t we? We all suppress the truth in unrighteousness. God detests lying.
It says in 12:22, “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.” And listen to this one. A commentary on the American political scene, “Arrogant lips are unsuited to a fool. How much worse, lying lips to a ruler?” Lying lips to a ruler. It’s unseemly. It destroys a nation when you have untrustworthy people who use their public situations to speak lies to us. And we just get used to it, we’re just hardened to it almost. It’s almost like we don’t even notice, but God detests it. And then 21:6, “A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare.” How many fortunes are made through deceit and lying? Think about it. Stock schemes and these different shady business deals and all that. And God says that the money made is like a vapor, it’ll disappear, and then the actual scheme itself is a snare to your feet. So, don’t do it. Don’t make money that way.
And then deception we already covered in 23 through 26, the coating of glaze over earthenware. God does not want us to appear to be something other than we are, but He wants us to be genuinely righteous. He does not want us to be lying, he does not want us to be deceptive. And one of the beauties of the Word of God is how everything is covered. I love it as a parent. The fact that it says in Leviticus, I forget the exact verse reference, but it says, “Do not lie,” or thou shalt not lie, “nor deal falsely with one another.” It’s all covered, isn’t it? “Well, I didn’t exactly lie, Dad.” Well, that’s true, but you willfully misled. And so, therefore, it’s covered. We must not be deceptive, and we must not lie, and these things are displeasing to God.
The third category is malice and destruction. These are the most harmful words that we say in which we are speaking so as to destroy and hurt, and damage. Isn’t it sad that we do that to one another? Isn’t it sad that we look out over the tool bench of our possibilities and we pick out that sledgehammer and just hurt? And we do that, don’t we? We use our words to cut and to destroy. It says in 11:9, “With his mouth, the godless destroys his neighbor. But through knowledge, the righteous escape.” And then 12:6, “The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the speech of the upright rescues them.” This is something that grieves me, is that I would ever say anything hurtful or harmful to a family member, but that’s where you let your guard down. Have you ever noticed you say things that just shouldn’t be said? Heat of the moment, etcetera. God doesn’t want it. We should use our words to heal and to build up, to bring life. We’ll talk about that more next time.
And also being a false witness. Back in that culture, if you are a false witness in a capital crime, it was like attempted murder. Do you understand that? If you were speaking and saying so and so did X, Y, and Z, and it was a capital crime, in effect, you’re attempting to kill that person. And so God deals very seriously with the issue of being a false witness. “A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will not go free,” 19:5. And then 19:9 says, “A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will perish.” A very serious thing. Let’s not use our words to destroy or attack, but only to build up.
And then there’s gossip and slander. What’s the difference between gossip and slander? How would you define those two so that they end up different? What’s the difference between gossip and slander? Yeah.
Someone in the audience replying
Either way, there are words that you put out that damage somebody’s reputation, aren’t they? Character assassination through the word, it’s so damaging. And it’s remarkable in the list in Romans Chapter 1, of all the terrible sins. We’ve got hateful doers of evil, murderers, adulterers, gossips and slanderers, right there in the list. Have you ever spoken words that you knew would drag down somebody’s reputation in the eyes of the hearer and did it anyway? Or the ears of the hearer? The fact of the matter is we’re all tempted in that direction. Maybe you’re having a conflict with somebody and you can use your words in a way that drags that person down.
All right. 11:13 says, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps his secret.” Sometimes somebody will commit to you some information that is private, and you go out and betray a confidence, say things that shouldn’t be said. A trustworthy man keeps a secret. 16:28 says, “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.” And 20:19, and this is just very practical, “A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much.” All right? In other words, don’t share with somebody who’s always around talking a lot, because, guess what, your story is gonna be the next thing on the grapevine. Be careful about that. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels, they go down to a man’s inmost parts.
And look at this, 26:20, “Without wood, a fire goes out. Without gossip, a quarrel dies down.” How many churches can testify to the truth of that? Conflicts happening, difficulties, disagreements, and somebody keeps feeding fuel into the fire, keeps the fire going, keeps the log on there. That’s sin. That is just flat-out sin. If you stop feeding, the fire disappears, the conflict goes away. There’s wisdom from the word of God. And then there’s slander. 10:18 says, “He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool.”
The next one is flattery. Flattery. What is flattery? Or shall I ask the question, what’s the difference between encouragement and flattery? Sincerity? Okay. When would you use encouragement? What’s your motive in encouragement? To build that person up. What’s your motive in flattery? To build yourself up, to gain something for yourself. That’s the difference. It’s gotta do with what is the goal of your words. Paul says, “We never use flattery, nor do we put on a mask to cover up greed,” 1 Thessalonians. We never used it.
And so I’m always careful ’cause I want to encourage you, all of you, but I have to be careful that I’m not flattering. I have to always assess my motive. “Why am I saying this? Is there something that I’m trying to get out of this situation by saying it? ‘Cause I wanna be like Barnabas, the son of encouragement, but I wanna be sure it’s not flattery either.” It says, “He who guards his lips guards his life,” 13:3… I’m sorry, that’s not the right one. 29:5, sorry. “Whoever flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet.” So, I wanna be careful about flattery. Basically, we’re trying to entrap and gain some benefit.
And then there’s hasty speech. “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.” We looked at that one. 18:13, look at 18:13. “He who answers before listening.” He who answers before listening, that is his folly and a shame. In other words, you interrupt. Have you ever done that? Right in the middle of the story, you’d stop and say, “I know what you’re gonna say,” and off you go. Well, you didn’t know ’cause you didn’t finish listening. Don’t interrupt, but finish and listen. And 29:20, “Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” So, don’t speak in haste.
And boasting. Two things, 27:1 and 27:2. 27:1, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.” Don’t boast about tomorrow, you don’t even know if you’ll be alive tomorrow. Right? 27:2, “Let another praise you and not your own mouth. Someone else, and not your own lips.” That’s a great verse, isn’t it? Don’t build yourself up in your own eyes. Don’t talk good things about yourself, let somebody else do it. Let God decide when you need to be encouraged. Don’t boast about yourself.
And then quarreling. Quarreling, arguing. Starting a quarrel. 17:14, “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” A dam is a wall, it’s all built up, and then you start to pick at those stones and the mortar, and what starts to happen? Then the water starts to flood through. The next thing you know, you’ve got a huge problem. 13:10 says, “Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” We’re gonna talk more about conflict resolution, that’s a major theme in Proverbs. We’ll get to that later, but I just wanna touch on it in terms of quarreling.
And then there’s mocking. 22:10, again, I think about churches sometimes with 22:10. “Drive out the mocker and out goes strife.” Quarrels and insults are ended, all of a sudden there’s peace. How did that happen? Well, the person who’s causing all the strife and conflict isn’t doing it anymore. Don’t be a mocker. Don’t seek to mock, but seek to build up. Use your words to build. Use your mouth and your tongue for what is right, not what is destructive and evil.
And then poor timing. This is some of my favorites. Poor timing, 27:14, speaking when you should be quiet. Somebody read 27:14.
Someone in the audience replying
Do you hear that? “If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.” But his timing was off. His motive was right, he wanted to be a blessing, he just got wrong timing. It’s too early in the morning and his neighbor was not a morning person. Every spouse, one of them’s a morning person, one of them is not, it’s just the way it is. God has designed it that way, and so you just have to work it through, and know is this going to be taken as a blessing or not. You’ve gotta have timing, okay? 27:14 and 14:23, talking when you should be working. In 10 years of engineering work, I saw a lot of people who did a lot of talking when they should have been working. Right? Water coolers, discussions. I bet you tomorrow there may even be some discussions around the water cooler about various athletic endeavors, but I’m telling you it’s just talking when you should be working. 14:23, somebody read this for me. Someone in the audience replying “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”
That’s great. “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.” I was helping to build a water silo for a girls’ school in Kenya, and I was pushing this heavy wheelbarrow of sand up a hill to make the concrete. And the teenage girls, the Kenyan girls, lined the way and joked and laughed at us while we were toiling up the hill. They did it for hours. And finally, I don’t know how, I had just been reading the Book of Proverbs, and this particular proverb came to mind, 14:23, “All hard work brings profit, but mere talk leads to poverty.” It dispersed the crowd. At any rate, we’re working hard, we’re trying to get something good out of it, but mere talk leads to poverty.
And then 18:2, talking when you should be listening to wise people. “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights only in airing his own opinions.” They just talk ALL the time. And they do not have any interest in learning anything, they just wanna air their own opinions. And then one final one, 26:18 and 19. I love this one. This is about joking. 26:18 and 19, “Like a mad man shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘I was only joking.'” That’s just a cover-up for doing wrong. There’s a time for that. And you could extend that just out into joking in general. There’s a lot of joking that’s sin. It really is. I would say a good chunk of it. Look at it, majority of those things that you say to get a laugh hurt somebody. Hurt somebody, tears somebody down.
Anyway, these are some bad habits. I’m sure none of you have them, but I struggle with a few, and the Book of Proverbs has a lot to say on each one of these. Let’s pray that God would weed these things out of our hearts and out of our mouths so that we can speak only of those things that are blessed.
Next week, we’ll look at good habits to get into verbally. Let’s close in prayer. Father, we thank you for the time we’ve had to look at your practical wisdom in the Book of Proverbs. I pray that you would continue to instruct us and teach us the right way, that we would not do any of these things, but only those things that are helpful for building our neighbors up, that it may benefit those who listen. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen
What does the Bible, and specifically Proverbs, have to say about the words we speak? In this sermon on Proverbs, Andy looks at godly speech as well as gossip, flattery, mocking, hasty speech, and more!
– sermon transcript –
We’re gonna continue our look at Proverbs tonight, but I don’t really know where to tell you to turn to look, we’re gonna be all over the book. So, open to Proverbs 1, but we’re not gonna be in Proverbs 1, you’ll be having to flip or just listen. Tonight we’re going to talk about what the Book of Proverbs has to say about our mouth or our lips, our words, our talking. And you know something, the more I research, I read through the whole Book of Proverbs this week, just looking specifically for Proverbs that had to do with speaking, and I ended up with about a third of the book. We’re gonna be looking at it again next week, but tonight I wanna talk about just some beginning things about what the Book of Proverbs has to say about our words.
Now we’re gonna start actually tonight briefly in the Book of James Chapter 3, Verse 2, just one verse, you don’t need to turn there, but I’m just gonna quote it. It says, “We all stumble in many ways.” Amen? “We all stumble in many ways.” It’s true. “If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep the whole body in check.” If you are never at fault ever in the things you say, then you’re perfect, that’s what James 3:2 said. Now, why is it true? Why is it true that if you never say anything wrong, you’re a perfect person? Why is that?
That’s right, it means your heart’s perfect. See, Charles, you are… You’re remarkable. Immediately, Charles brings us to the heart of the matter, the connection between the mouth and the heart. Why is the fact that you, if you are never at fault in what you say, that you’re a perfect man, why is that true? It’s because of the connection between the mouth and the heart. And I think that’s something that we need to get at and understand right here. The mouth is a reflection of the heart. And what is the heart like? Let’s go to the next level. What is your heart like? Desperately wicked. Isn’t that a little gloomy, Joyce? A little negative? [chuckle] It is though, it’s true.
Jeremiah 9 says it’s desperately wicked. And I think the more you go on in sanctification, the more you know yourself under the light of Scripture, the more you know it’s true. And therefore, the mouth is constantly saying things that it shouldn’t say. We’re constantly getting ourselves into trouble with what we say. Now, the whole passage in James 3, you’ve read it before. Basically, in effect, it says, “No one can bridle the tongue.” You just can’t do it. No matter how hard you try, it’s going to say something. It’s gonna wriggle free at some point and say something you shouldn’t have said. Therefore, the book of Proverbs, we can imagine, would have a lot of practical wisdom to give us on what we have to say.
Another key verse in this that you’ve heard me quote many times, and I’ll quote it again, is in Matthew 12:34, and following. There, Jesus had just done an amazing miracle, and His opponents, His enemies were trying a new tact. They were trying a new approach. And they were saying, it is by Beelzebub, the prince of demons, that he drives out demons. That’s what they said. In other words, they were ascribing to the devil the things that the Holy Spirit was doing through Jesus. Isn’t that incredible? And Jesus said it’s a very, very serious moment, that’s when He discusses the unforgivable sin, as you remember, which I think is ascribing to the devil the things that the Holy Spirit is doing in such a manifest way. The miracles should have been sufficient evidence of the deity of Christ. But they’re ascribing to the devil by Beelzebub, the Lord of Flies is what it means, the things that the Holy Spirit was doing. And this is what Jesus said, “You brood of vipers! How can you, who are evil, say anything good?” Think about that. “How can you, who are evil, say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”
And that’s the very thing that Charles is bringing us right to the heart of the matter. You speak what’s in your heart, isn’t that true? And so as the Lord sanctifies you, He actually sovereignly, I think, brings you into circumstances where the things that are in your heart bubble up to the surface. And you just say them. Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give an account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words, you will be condemned. So, words, very, very important. Words are significant.
Think about words to God. How important are words to God? Think about that. Genesis 1:3, God said, “Let there be,” what? “Light, and there was light.” He created by the breath of His mouth. By the Word of His power, He created. He spoke you into existence. Simply by speaking the Word, “Let there be,” so and so, and there was, that person. He wove you together in your mother’s womb. He created you by His words. God also used the Word to redeem the world. Not only did He create the world by the Word, but He used the Word to redeem the world.
Now, of course, He did that through Jesus Christ. John 1:1 says, what? “In the beginning was the,” what? “Word. And the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” So, He uses this metaphor, this concept of Word in reference to the second person of the Trinity. He is the Word gone forth from God the Father. He is a spoken word, a perfect representation of the will of the Father. That’s Jesus Christ. He used the incarnate word, Jesus, but then He used the spoken word to save us. Didn’t he? Romans 1:16, “I am not ashamed of the Gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.” It’s just the spoken word, and at some point you heard it and you believed it.
Hearing promotes faith. Faith comes from hearing the Word. God has chosen this means to the end of our salvation.
And so it says in 1 Corinthians 1:21, “For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through its wisdom did not know Him. God was pleased through the foolishness of preaching to save those who believe.” Just by the foolishness of this verbal communication, this preaching, and this message of the Word. And as I just mentioned, God will use our words to judge us. He’s going to use your words, everything you’ve said, as a perfect assessment of your life.
Remember I said when I was preaching through Romans that you are going to be judged by your deeds? You will not be saved by your deeds. But you will be assessed by your deeds. You see the difference? None of us are saved by good works, but we can be assessed by our works. Jesus said, “Make a tree good and its fruit will be,” what? “Good. Make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad.” Jesus is a perfect judge of fruit. He can pick that fruit, look at it, and tell you what kind of tree it is. And He uses our words to do that, isn’t that true? “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” And so He’s going to use our words to judge us. By your words, you will be acquitted, and by your words, you will be condemned.
And God’s word itself is powerful and effective. I love this in Isaiah 55:10-11, “As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word which goes out from my mouth. It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish the purpose for which I sent it, and achieve the end for which I sent it forth.” In other words, any time God sends out His Word, it accomplishes the thing He sent it out to do.
Words are very, very important, aren’t they? Well, what are your words like?
Think about it. If you had a transcript of everything you’ve said in the last seven days, what would it look like? Go through it with a highlighter and say, “There’s one I wish I hadn’t said.” And you could categorize them, those things, those words that were a blessing to somebody, those words that were a curse to somebody. Those words which were neither one or the other. Those things in which you were speaking the Word of God, and those things in which you were not. Just go through and think about it, a transcript of your words. It’s not that uncommon a concept. Jesus already said you’ll have to give an account, so there is a transcript somewhere. Well, think about it for yourself. What are your words like? Well, I think that’s where the Book of Proverbs comes in to try to help us out. To give us some wisdom.
Now, what we’re gonna do tonight is we’re gonna look at the negative side, those things that Proverbs reveals as bad habits concerning the mouth and the words. We’ll look at the positive side next time, but I think so much of sanctification is weeding out those things that are displeasing to God so that there’s room for those things that are pleasing. Now, Charles has already brought out the close relationship between the mouth and the heart, and it is very clear in the Book of Proverbs as well. At 15:7, it says this, “The lips of the wise spread knowledge, not so the hearts of fools.” So, there’s a connection between the lips and the hearts. Remember, there’s a parallelism all the time in these proverbs. And so there’s a relationship between lips and heart. 15:28, it said… This reminds me of when I preached on Psalm 119, and I was moving all over that Psalm, as you remember, but that’s what the Book of Proverbs is like. And you can just listen or you can try flipping there if you’d like, but we’re gonna just move through. 15:28, it says, “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.”
Again, in the first part, the part A, we’ve got the word “heart,” and part B we’ve got the word “mouth,” a strong connection. And 23:15 and 16, 23:15-16 says, “My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad. My inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.” In other words, this father is speaking to his son, and he’s saying, “I’m going to delight if you have a wise heart.” And how will I know if you have a wise heart? By the words you speak. I’ll just listen to how you talk, and I’ll know if you have any wisdom to offer.
And so this connection between the heart and the mouth is true, both for the wise man and for the fool. It’s true in both cases. 16:23 says “A wise man, a wise man’s heart guides his mouth. His lips promote instruction.” In other words, a wise man’s heart guides the things he says. Now, we already know from Matthew 12 that the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. But here, there’s a sense of self-control, isn’t there? The wise man’s heart, his wisdom, his discretion is bridling in the things he’s saying and controlling it so that he speaks wisdom. On the other hand, the fool, 15:14, it says, “The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly.” The mouth of a fool just enjoys foolishness, folly. Again, the strong connection between the heart and the mouth.
Now, one caveat about that, one warning is that deceptive people can fool us by how they talk. Isn’t that true? There can be some that will talk a good talk but their reality is different. So, in general, it’s true that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. But you see, God has a perfect record of your words. We only have a sampling of one another’s words, don’t we? We can actually do all right for a while. You know what I’m saying? We can be on our best behavior verbally for a little period of time, and therefore we can present ourselves as a certain way. But God’s got a 168-hour per week record, so He got the whole thing and nothing’s missing.
But it is possible to deceive other people by the way we talk. We’ve heard of people who talk the talk but don’t walk the walk, that kind of thing. Proverbs covers that as well, Chapter 26 Verse 23 through 26, take a minute and look there because there’s a number of verses there that it refers to this.
Proverbs 26:23-26, it says, “Like a coating of glaze over earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart.” Isn’t that powerful? Like a coating of glaze, have you ever seen a piece of ceramic that’s got that shiny glaze stuff over it, but at the heart it’s just common clay? In effect, this proverb is saying that’s what fervent lips over a deceptive or an evil heart are like. Somebody who can speak the fervent talk of a Christian, let’s say, but at their heart, there’s a disconnect there. There’s no genuine zeal for the Lord, no genuine love for Him.
Reading on, Verse 24, “A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit. Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart. His malice may be concealed by deception, but his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.” In the end, it comes out, you can’t keep it up for a long, long time. But for a short period of time, you can talk a good talk and so deceive your neighbor. So, it is possible then a shorter sampling of the words to carry off a good appearance. But in general, out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks, and God has the perfect record, the whole thing, 100% of all your words, and so He’s able to make a perfect assessment of your heart.
Now, inside ourselves, we’re saying, “I don’t wanna be that way. I don’t wanna be like a glaze coating over an evil heart.” And therefore, what has to happen to us? We have to have a heart transformation, don’t we? We have to have a genuine renewal from within. And that’s something only Jesus Christ can give us. Only God can transform the heart from within. And then out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. Good things come up/out. And it says in 20:15, I love this, “Gold there is, and rubies in abundance. But lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel.” In other words, there’s more gold and rubies out there than there are lips that speak genuine Godly knowledge. It’s a rare thing. And then you say, “Well, I wanna be one of those people. How do I do it? How do I speak those kind of words?”
Or 25:11, it says, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” I’ll read that again, 25:11, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” That sounds expensive, doesn’t it? Apples of gold in a setting of silver? For your 25th wedding anniversary, what could be better to get her than apples of gold in a setting of silver, right? And that’s what it’s saying. It’s that valuable, a word aptly spoken, just the right amount of wisdom, just the word to say at that key moment. And it’s THAT rare. And you say, “Well, how could I be a man or a woman who does speak that apt word in a perfect setting?” Well, the words of wisdom transform the heart.
Look at 22:17, and following. We have to have a transformation, and what’s interesting about the transformation is that it is accomplished by listening to words. Isn’t that funny? Listen to words of wisdom. Listen to the Scripture. Listen to the teaching. You all have Sunday school teachers. There’s good Bible preaching on the radio. I try to preach the Word faithfully. Listen to the good words of wisdom and put them into effect. It’s a transforming effect, the Word of God. Look at 22:17, and following, “Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise. Apply your heart to what I teach. For it is pleasing when you keep them in your heart and have all of them ready on your lips. So that your trust may be in the Lord, I teach you today, even you. Have I not written 30 sayings for you, sayings of counsel and knowledge, teaching you true and reliable words so that you can give sound answers to Him who sent you?” That’s so powerful. It says, “Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise. Apply your heart to what I teach. Apply your heart to what I teach,” so that you can have the words ready on your lips.
Where do you think I’m heading with all this? Scripture memorization, yeah, you know me well. You just have to saturate your mind in the Word so that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. Am I speaking alien? Look what Jesus said. He said, “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him. Whereas the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.” How do you store up good things in yourself? May I recommend memorizing the sayings of the wise? You can’t do better than Scripture. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. It’s the Scripture.
Another reference on this, I’m not gonna read it now, is Proverbs 4:20 through 27, in which… Make a note of that in which the Father says, “Pay attention to my teachings, write them on your heart so that they come out of your mouth.” That’s kind of how it works. So, a transformation of the heart by the Word of God.
Now, let’s get into a listing of some bad habits of speech. Talk about what Proverbs said. By the way, if you noticed, I’ve got Avery crack and peel labels here. I forgot to change the paper when I’m printing and I didn’t have the time, so you all can have part of the talk tonight. If you wanna take it home, crack and peel, put it on your Bible, maybe your favorite proverb. Just come and ask, I’ll leave it up here in the front, you can take it with you. All right. There are just different habits, and I don’t think I’ve been exhaustive here, but there’s just some different things that the Scripture, the Book of Proverbs gives us that are habits that we don’t wanna get into in terms of our speech.
I’ll just read through the list quickly, and then I’ll go back and start reading the Proverbs. “There’s foolish abundance,” I categorized a number of these things, “foolish abundance, saying lots and lots of foolish things.” There’s lying and deception.. There’s malice and destruction. These are really hurtful words, the words that just rip to shreds, those things. There’s gossip and slander, which is covered in Proverbs. There’s flattery, flattery, and hasty speech, speaking before your brain is connected. Have you ever done that? All right. And then there’s boasting and quarreling. Another word for quarreling is arguing. All right. Mocking and poor timing. Saying things that shouldn’t be said when you say them. Those kinds of things. And joking. Those are the things covered. “What’s wrong with a good joke?” You might say. Well, ordinarily nothing, but there are some things that are inappropriate. Let’s go through them and look at them.
First, let’s talk about foolish abundance. There are three sub-categories here, chattering, talking too much, and blurting out folly. All right. First, what is chattering? Well, I don’t really know, but this is what Proverbs 10:10 says, “He who winks maliciously causes grief, and a chattering fool comes to ruin.” I guess it’s just somebody who’s just talking all the time. The mouth is going and going, and not much is coming out worth listening to. Chattering fool. Don’t be that way, I guess, is what we’re getting at here. This is about as practical as it gets. You want practical? This is practical. This isn’t Romans Chapter 3 theology. This is practical, okay? So, if you like practical, don’t be a chattering fool.
Or talking too much. I like this one, 10:19. Write this one down, if you’re given to saying a lot of words, 10:19. “When words are many… ” I’m gonna change the NIV translation a little bit here. “When words are many, sin is inevitable.” NIV just says “Sin is not absent.” I like inevitable better. You keep talking long enough you’re gonna say something you wish you hadn’t said. Have you ever noticed that? Just keep on going. You’re at a party, things are going, somebody laughs at something you say, and next thing you know you say something you shouldn’t have said. Have you ever seen that happen? “Where words are many, sin is inevitable. But he who holds the tongue is wise.” Don’t say anything, keep it quiet.
Or then there’s blurting folly. I like this, blurting out things that shouldn’t be said. 12:23, “A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of fools blurts out folly.” It’s like there’s just no gatekeeper there, it just comes flowing out. Have you ever met somebody like that? Are YOU like that? I hope not. It just comes rolling out, something you wish you hadn’t said. 15:2, “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.” So, I’m relating blurting out and gushing, they’re about the same thing. And then, “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.” That’s so good. 15:28, “The heart of the wise weighs out his answers first.” You think about what you’re gonna say before you say it. But the foolish person doesn’t do that. They just say what comes to their mind. “I’m just telling you how I feel.” Well, that’s where the damage comes. All right? Self-control. Weigh out what you say before you say it. All right, that’s that foolish abundance, saying lots and lots of stuff. And many of it shouldn’t be said, much of it shouldn’t be said.
Second category, lying, and deception. Lying and deception. First, lying. Oh, and by the way, let’s take a minute. I wanna show you something. We’re not gonna get to everything the way I wanna do it here, but look at 26:4 and 5, and this is gonna teach us something important about Proverbs. Could somebody… I’m losing my voice here. Could somebody read 26:4 and 5 for me? Big voice?
Someone in audience reading scripture
Okay, yeah. You stumbled a little bit over that and I understand why, because it seems like they contradict each other, doesn’t it? “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or,” what? “You’ll be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.” Well, exegesis or interpretation in Proverbs is a little different than anywhere else in Scripture. You just have to handle them a little bit differently. Proverbs has some sayings that are absolute truths all the time, no matter what. Aren’t they? Like “The Lord detest lying lips.” We’ll get to that in a minute. He always does no matter what. There’s no way you can turn it around that sometimes he loves lying lips. Those are absolutes.
Then there are other things that are just general tendencies in life. For example, if you have a righteous leader, then the nation will be righteous, that kind of thing. They’re just tendencies and generalities. They’re not always true. And here is we get a juxtaposition of two verse that seemed to contradict each other. Basically what it’s saying is that there are some circumstances in which you’re gonna wanna deal with a fool blurting out folly at one way. And then other times you’re gonna wanna deal with it a different way, and so you interpret it that way. All I’m saying is that exegesis or interpretation in Proverbs has to be handled a little bit more carefully than some other places. Actually, they ought to be handled carefully.
All right. Look at Chapter 6, speaking about lying. Chapter 6 Verse 16 through 19. “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to Him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.” At least two or maybe three of those have to do with lying. The stirring up dissension may involve lying sometimes, you could be spreading stories about somebody and causing dissension that way. God HATES lying lips. Hates them. We try to get this across in our parenting, but it’s true of all of us. And it says in one of the Psalms, “All men are liars.” All of us lie at some point, we all shade the truth, don’t we? We all suppress the truth in unrighteousness. God detests lying.
It says in 12:22, “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.” And listen to this one. A commentary on the American political scene, “Arrogant lips are unsuited to a fool. How much worse, lying lips to a ruler?” Lying lips to a ruler. It’s unseemly. It destroys a nation when you have untrustworthy people who use their public situations to speak lies to us. And we just get used to it, we’re just hardened to it almost. It’s almost like we don’t even notice, but God detests it. And then 21:6, “A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare.” How many fortunes are made through deceit and lying? Think about it. Stock schemes and these different shady business deals and all that. And God says that the money made is like a vapor, it’ll disappear, and then the actual scheme itself is a snare to your feet. So, don’t do it. Don’t make money that way.
And then deception we already covered in 23 through 26, the coating of glaze over earthenware. God does not want us to appear to be something other than we are, but He wants us to be genuinely righteous. He does not want us to be lying, he does not want us to be deceptive. And one of the beauties of the Word of God is how everything is covered. I love it as a parent. The fact that it says in Leviticus, I forget the exact verse reference, but it says, “Do not lie,” or thou shalt not lie, “nor deal falsely with one another.” It’s all covered, isn’t it? “Well, I didn’t exactly lie, Dad.” Well, that’s true, but you willfully misled. And so, therefore, it’s covered. We must not be deceptive, and we must not lie, and these things are displeasing to God.
The third category is malice and destruction. These are the most harmful words that we say in which we are speaking so as to destroy and hurt, and damage. Isn’t it sad that we do that to one another? Isn’t it sad that we look out over the tool bench of our possibilities and we pick out that sledgehammer and just hurt? And we do that, don’t we? We use our words to cut and to destroy. It says in 11:9, “With his mouth, the godless destroys his neighbor. But through knowledge, the righteous escape.” And then 12:6, “The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the speech of the upright rescues them.” This is something that grieves me, is that I would ever say anything hurtful or harmful to a family member, but that’s where you let your guard down. Have you ever noticed you say things that just shouldn’t be said? Heat of the moment, etcetera. God doesn’t want it. We should use our words to heal and to build up, to bring life. We’ll talk about that more next time.
And also being a false witness. Back in that culture, if you are a false witness in a capital crime, it was like attempted murder. Do you understand that? If you were speaking and saying so and so did X, Y, and Z, and it was a capital crime, in effect, you’re attempting to kill that person. And so God deals very seriously with the issue of being a false witness. “A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will not go free,” 19:5. And then 19:9 says, “A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who pours out lies will perish.” A very serious thing. Let’s not use our words to destroy or attack, but only to build up.
And then there’s gossip and slander. What’s the difference between gossip and slander? How would you define those two so that they end up different? What’s the difference between gossip and slander? Yeah.
Someone in the audience replying
Either way, there are words that you put out that damage somebody’s reputation, aren’t they? Character assassination through the word, it’s so damaging. And it’s remarkable in the list in Romans Chapter 1, of all the terrible sins. We’ve got hateful doers of evil, murderers, adulterers, gossips and slanderers, right there in the list. Have you ever spoken words that you knew would drag down somebody’s reputation in the eyes of the hearer and did it anyway? Or the ears of the hearer? The fact of the matter is we’re all tempted in that direction. Maybe you’re having a conflict with somebody and you can use your words in a way that drags that person down.
All right. 11:13 says, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps his secret.” Sometimes somebody will commit to you some information that is private, and you go out and betray a confidence, say things that shouldn’t be said. A trustworthy man keeps a secret. 16:28 says, “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.” And 20:19, and this is just very practical, “A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much.” All right? In other words, don’t share with somebody who’s always around talking a lot, because, guess what, your story is gonna be the next thing on the grapevine. Be careful about that. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels, they go down to a man’s inmost parts.
And look at this, 26:20, “Without wood, a fire goes out. Without gossip, a quarrel dies down.” How many churches can testify to the truth of that? Conflicts happening, difficulties, disagreements, and somebody keeps feeding fuel into the fire, keeps the fire going, keeps the log on there. That’s sin. That is just flat-out sin. If you stop feeding, the fire disappears, the conflict goes away. There’s wisdom from the word of God. And then there’s slander. 10:18 says, “He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool.”
The next one is flattery. Flattery. What is flattery? Or shall I ask the question, what’s the difference between encouragement and flattery? Sincerity? Okay. When would you use encouragement? What’s your motive in encouragement? To build that person up. What’s your motive in flattery? To build yourself up, to gain something for yourself. That’s the difference. It’s gotta do with what is the goal of your words. Paul says, “We never use flattery, nor do we put on a mask to cover up greed,” 1 Thessalonians. We never used it.
And so I’m always careful ’cause I want to encourage you, all of you, but I have to be careful that I’m not flattering. I have to always assess my motive. “Why am I saying this? Is there something that I’m trying to get out of this situation by saying it? ‘Cause I wanna be like Barnabas, the son of encouragement, but I wanna be sure it’s not flattery either.” It says, “He who guards his lips guards his life,” 13:3… I’m sorry, that’s not the right one. 29:5, sorry. “Whoever flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet.” So, I wanna be careful about flattery. Basically, we’re trying to entrap and gain some benefit.
And then there’s hasty speech. “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.” We looked at that one. 18:13, look at 18:13. “He who answers before listening.” He who answers before listening, that is his folly and a shame. In other words, you interrupt. Have you ever done that? Right in the middle of the story, you’d stop and say, “I know what you’re gonna say,” and off you go. Well, you didn’t know ’cause you didn’t finish listening. Don’t interrupt, but finish and listen. And 29:20, “Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” So, don’t speak in haste.
And boasting. Two things, 27:1 and 27:2. 27:1, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.” Don’t boast about tomorrow, you don’t even know if you’ll be alive tomorrow. Right? 27:2, “Let another praise you and not your own mouth. Someone else, and not your own lips.” That’s a great verse, isn’t it? Don’t build yourself up in your own eyes. Don’t talk good things about yourself, let somebody else do it. Let God decide when you need to be encouraged. Don’t boast about yourself.
And then quarreling. Quarreling, arguing. Starting a quarrel. 17:14, “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” A dam is a wall, it’s all built up, and then you start to pick at those stones and the mortar, and what starts to happen? Then the water starts to flood through. The next thing you know, you’ve got a huge problem. 13:10 says, “Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” We’re gonna talk more about conflict resolution, that’s a major theme in Proverbs. We’ll get to that later, but I just wanna touch on it in terms of quarreling.
And then there’s mocking. 22:10, again, I think about churches sometimes with 22:10. “Drive out the mocker and out goes strife.” Quarrels and insults are ended, all of a sudden there’s peace. How did that happen? Well, the person who’s causing all the strife and conflict isn’t doing it anymore. Don’t be a mocker. Don’t seek to mock, but seek to build up. Use your words to build. Use your mouth and your tongue for what is right, not what is destructive and evil.
And then poor timing. This is some of my favorites. Poor timing, 27:14, speaking when you should be quiet. Somebody read 27:14.
Someone in the audience replying
Do you hear that? “If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.” But his timing was off. His motive was right, he wanted to be a blessing, he just got wrong timing. It’s too early in the morning and his neighbor was not a morning person. Every spouse, one of them’s a morning person, one of them is not, it’s just the way it is. God has designed it that way, and so you just have to work it through, and know is this going to be taken as a blessing or not. You’ve gotta have timing, okay? 27:14 and 14:23, talking when you should be working. In 10 years of engineering work, I saw a lot of people who did a lot of talking when they should have been working. Right? Water coolers, discussions. I bet you tomorrow there may even be some discussions around the water cooler about various athletic endeavors, but I’m telling you it’s just talking when you should be working. 14:23, somebody read this for me. Someone in the audience replying “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”
That’s great. “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.” I was helping to build a water silo for a girls’ school in Kenya, and I was pushing this heavy wheelbarrow of sand up a hill to make the concrete. And the teenage girls, the Kenyan girls, lined the way and joked and laughed at us while we were toiling up the hill. They did it for hours. And finally, I don’t know how, I had just been reading the Book of Proverbs, and this particular proverb came to mind, 14:23, “All hard work brings profit, but mere talk leads to poverty.” It dispersed the crowd. At any rate, we’re working hard, we’re trying to get something good out of it, but mere talk leads to poverty.
And then 18:2, talking when you should be listening to wise people. “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights only in airing his own opinions.” They just talk ALL the time. And they do not have any interest in learning anything, they just wanna air their own opinions. And then one final one, 26:18 and 19. I love this one. This is about joking. 26:18 and 19, “Like a mad man shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, ‘I was only joking.'” That’s just a cover-up for doing wrong. There’s a time for that. And you could extend that just out into joking in general. There’s a lot of joking that’s sin. It really is. I would say a good chunk of it. Look at it, majority of those things that you say to get a laugh hurt somebody. Hurt somebody, tears somebody down.
Anyway, these are some bad habits. I’m sure none of you have them, but I struggle with a few, and the Book of Proverbs has a lot to say on each one of these. Let’s pray that God would weed these things out of our hearts and out of our mouths so that we can speak only of those things that are blessed.
Next week, we’ll look at good habits to get into verbally. Let’s close in prayer. Father, we thank you for the time we’ve had to look at your practical wisdom in the Book of Proverbs. I pray that you would continue to instruct us and teach us the right way, that we would not do any of these things, but only those things that are helpful for building our neighbors up, that it may benefit those who listen. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen
